As you all know I’ve set my new years resolutions and I have to admit that I’ve been doing fairly well in spite of the nasty head cold I was dealing with all last week.  I’ve been keeping up on my reading and I’m actually reading a really good book about individual accountability.  It’s really opened my eyes to how I need to stop making excuses for everything not going well in my life and stop blaming others.  This truth really hit home this past week when I got in an ENORMOUS fight with my ex husband.  I was madder than I’ve been in years and yet when I sat back and calmed down I realized that I was the one who got myself here and that I was not without fault in the argument.  It’s not easy facing the ugly truth.  And the further I read the more I see that I need to change and start thinking ‘above the line’ to find real happiness.  I’ve run across so many good points in my reading that I now keep a notebook next to me so that I can write down quotes that really strike me.

On the same note, I gave my staff an assignment at the first of the year to write a personal mission statement and business plan.  I held a ½ day retreat and had lunch catered to go over our goals and discuss each person’s strengths in preparation for the assignment.  The meeting could not have gone any better; in fact my boss is incorporating some of my ideas into his training with the sales staff.  Anyway today was the due date for them to turn in their work and of course several of them were working on their business plans up until end of work tonight but when I got a chance to read over their mission statements I was totally impressed and floored.  It’s amazing how something as simple as a mission statement not only defines one’s character but also gives another insight into that person’s thoughts, beliefs and desires.  I expected my staff to sort of half ass the assignment because most of them are extremely young, in fact two are only 19!  But instead they really used the worksheets I provided them with (several even turned in their work, along with their final version) and they each came up with their own thought filled, personal accomplishment.  Reading through their mission statements it really made me think about my last mission statement and how much tweaking it needed to fit my life as it now stands… at the time I wrote it I was still married and doing Real Estate.  So I’ve determined to really take some time this next week and re-write my mission statement.

What am I all about?  You know I started making a list this evening.  And it’s funny how all of this sort of comes together because as I sat in my Grandfather’s funeral last month I was thinking much the same thing.  I was thinking about what people might have to say about me if I were to pass away…. So tonight I made a list, with two parts: Part one was what I WANTED people to say about me, and Part two was what I thought people WOULD say about me.  The sad thing is that part one was much longer and much more desirable than part two.  One of the exercises that I gave my staff to complete to help them in writing their mission statements asked who had been one of the most influential people in their life, which qualities they most admired about that person, and what qualities they had gained from that person.  As I thought this over today of course I thought of my mother who was the most sincere, loving, giving, happy, selfless person I’ve known.  And as sad as it is to admit I don’t know that a single one of those adjectives would be used to describe me.  That was actually a slap of reality to recognize that.  I think people would describe me as fun, fashionable, fearless and friendly; all nice things but not of the same value.  I really think I need to get my priorities in focus!

I guess the first step in change is to see the need.  Then as described in my reading, to own it, solve it, then do it!  I suppose I'm on my way!